Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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