question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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