I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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