so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
4 words: hood of his car
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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We had sex on a dog bed..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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