so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize