there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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