I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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