I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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