This is not my ceiling
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
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Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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