Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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