She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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