I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize