I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize