just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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