Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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