You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize