made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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