But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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