Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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