Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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