I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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