Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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