he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I want her autograph on my taint
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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