I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He better not be in your backpack
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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