Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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