Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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