also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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