i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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