i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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