Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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