Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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