Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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