so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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