The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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