Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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