Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize