i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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