Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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