I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize