I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize