Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize