I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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