We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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