Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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