Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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