We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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