So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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