The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We got so high we made milksteak
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
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Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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