just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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