i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize